The Eyes? REALLY?

I was at the Concord Mall a couple of days ago—I often stop there for a slice of pizza—when I ran into one of my neighbors. She joined me. We were chatting about various things, when a woman—perhaps in her mid-50s—walked by us.

Facially, she was easily average, not particularly aesthetically special, but easy on these elderly male eyes. But it wasn’t her face that garnished virtually all of my attention (hint: gorgeous set of legs transporting a fabulous-looking butt).

Anyway, my neighbor—just a year younger than me—easily noticed my gawking, and nonchalantly informed me that the first things most men notice about a woman are her eyes.

I casually conceded that she could be right, but I’ve had a long ogling tenure as a man—I’m 74 and still quite aware sexually. And, to be realistic, 74-years old automatically qualifies me for admission to the “Dirty Old” club.

Fortunately, the sight of those two gorgeous legs transporting that “impure thought-producing” butt quickly faded into the throng of people walking through the mall, and I was able to regain my dignified 74-year old composure.

Being a man with a long history of ogling behind me, I wanted to leave my neighbor with another perspective as to what “most” men first observe about women.

I explained, as tactfully as I knew how, that when her—the woman whose eyes are “allegedly” being noticed—aren’t looking, they—the men “allegedly” doing the noticing—are probably gawking at her breasts!

And while I didn’t go into vivid detail about it, let me tell you that I don’t give a hoot about a woman’s eyes—as long as they’re not bloodshot! The first things I notice—in this precise order—are her ass, hips, and legs.

Understand THIS, also: At my age, I’m not interested in YOUNG women. A lady has to be in her 50s—AT AN ABSOLUTE MINIMUM—to even register on my gawk meter!

And, please also note; I have ALWAYS made it an indisputable point of social etiquette NOT to drool!

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