Today is Easter Sunday, the holiest of holy days in Christendom. And while I come from a long line of devout, PRACTICING Roman Catholics, I remain living proof that the trait is not hereditary.
I’m not an atheist, mind you; that degree of absoluteness takes an uncanny degree of decisiveness. And quite frankly, even as a scientist, I’m not THAT decisive about ANYTHING… well, OK, I am very decisive about Budweiser beer; it sucks, but everything else is fodder for debate!
I have a neighbor who, because she’s convinced that I’m going to hell along with the rest of the world’s evolutionists, prays for me EVERY day. And I let her know that I truly appreciate her effort on my behalf… you know, in case I’m wrong.
Anyway, this isn’t about religion. So for those of you who are Christians, I send you my best wishes.
This is going to be a short one because I’m on my way—about a two hour trip—to spend the day with my children and their uncles and aunts—my two brothers and sisters-in-law.
Last night I cleared out my LAST two filing cabinets; everything’s digitized now and neatly stashed inside of a computer database, which I hope doesn’t crash too often.
Anyway, I found a folder—an OLD folder from ancient times: 1985! Inside that folder, I found a lot of wisdom—other people’s, not mine. I had labeled the folder “Unofficial Funny Stuff.”
These are unwritten laws in the formal sense, but some mighty smart people said this stuff. While some of it rings funny, all of it is true. Starting with today’s posting, I’m going to sprinkle it throughout my weekly pontifications.
Much of it easily explains why this country is in the shape it’s in politically, economically, and socially. I’ll provide attribution whenever I can verify it, and I’ll add some of my own comments where I think it appropriate. I hope you enjoy it.
ALINSKY’S Law: Those who are the most moral are furthest from the problem. And to this I will add, simply, that these are the same ones who pontificate the loudest.
Billings Third Law: As scarce as TRUTH is, the SUPPLY has always been in excess of DEMAND.
Cavett’s Law: As long as people accept CRAP, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. Want proof of this one? Think U. S. CONGRESS, issue-oriented talk radio… especially the babbling locals, cable TV pundits (RIGHT and LEFT), and all the self-proclaimed “experts” on climate change.
Chaucer’s First Law: Time heals all wounds. I can tell you from experience that Chaucer missed the mark on this one. But the late Rose Kennedy made the point better than I could ever do it.
Rose Kennedy’s retort: It has been said, “time heals all wounds.” I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
Comins’s Law: People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
We can apply the same thought process to plagiarism. People have been plagiarizing for eons. But the smart ones are neither obvious nor contemporary about it; they go WAAAYYY back!
Cosby’s Law of Advertising: Always avoid the CONCRETE promise… and cultivate the delightfully VAGUE. And to this I’ll add a corollary of my own: Marketing people do NOT screw the customers; they only hold them down while the sales people screw them!
The Dixon Effect: If you make enough predictions, a few are bound to be correct. The hits will always be remembered while the misses will always be forgotten. Your fame and fortune as a forecaster of the ominous will be certain.
And to this one I’ll add my own two cents as well. If you can master the art of intellectual ambiguity, hundreds of years from now—if the human race is still around—your name will ring synonymous with that of Nostradamus.
That’s it for now; I have to get on the road. Again, have a very happy and fruitful Easter, and if you’re not a Christian, have a great and safe week.
Oh, and before I forget—or maybe I already mentioned it in a previous post (I’m getting older than dirt myself)—several people have asked me over the past year to link this blog into a Face Book page.
While I’m not into Twitter at ALL, I am working on a True Facts Face Book page. However, it will be a simple hyperlink ONLY; I gleefully declared my independence from Face Book years ago!