Old and cantankerous CAN be FUN!

I’ve always counted myself among the lucky ones; I found my life’s passion early on. I’ve never looked at my livelihood as a “job.” Monday mornings have never been a chore for me; nor have Friday afternoons necessarily triggered the end of a workweek. During my 72-years on this rock, I have not always been ecstatic over the way things sometimes turned out, but I’ve loved every second of the journey.

Retirement opened new vistas for me. I’ve even found myself occasionally regretting that I didn’t “retire” a little sooner than I did. It isn’t due to the discovery of any retrospective professional regrets, but because it gave me a brand new mountain to climb.

Since beginning the climb early in 2003, the journey has become irresistible. And, the most fantastic part of it lies in the fact that it has given me an opportunity to advocate for people who have had no one to speak for them for a very long time.

Family, a few close personal friends, and a few colleagues have always described me as being “naturally quantitative.” Cute handle. It has an air of sophistication to it. Bullshit, but sophisticated. In fact, let’s compromise a bit and call it sophisticated bullshit.

Of course, if they’ve meant this in the mathematical/logical sense, I plead guilty. I’ve always been comfortable around natural law, because natural law is something that’s always been easy for me to get my arms around.

Of course, there is another interpretation for “naturally quantitative.” It can also be a more stylish way of calling me a hardheaded prick. I don’t have a problem with this handle, either, because I’m also guilty as charged.

If one exists, I think it’s OK to trust God. But, it’s seriously prudent to audit EVERYONE else, especially the endless litany of self-proclaimed “experts” who constantly proclaim infallibility in understanding God’s nature.

And, it’s not always about HUMAN interpretation over what God “meant” about various things, either. The human race’s propensity for elevating outlandish legendary nonsense to the status of fact is mind-blowing.

The 1962 film, Who Shot Liberty Valance, contained a line spoken by a prominent old Wild West newspaper editor, “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” Nothing’s changed; legends still morph into “fact” simply because legends sell more hardcopy than facts do.

Several years ago (translation 30-years), I wrote a piece for small-circulation weekly newspaper located in a tiny coal mining town named Tremont, PA. The piece was all about “factoids.”

People love to quote factoids as facts. It’s because factoids have the look and feel of facts. They’re not even close to facts; but people accept them as such because many of them contain hard numbers and various levels of statistical inferences—their most likely source being the quoter’s butt.

Many well-intentioned people do this occasionally, including ME. My own parents did it every time they felt the need to instill the “fear of God” into me. My teachers did it (the good and saintly Sisters of St. Joseph).

There is nothing wrong with this, per se, unless their usage irreparably harms innocent, vulnerable people’s lives. This has happened over the past 15-years in particular.

I’ve seen too many examples of the devastation wrought when helpless people fall prey to power-hungry Neanderthals interested in nothing more than saving face and trying to prove a non-existent point. The only way to stop it is to expose it.

Whether people consider me “naturally quantitative” or a hardheaded prick is irrelevant to me. Like it or not, stupid, STILL, is as stupid does.

My attorney INSISTS that I keep real names out of accusatory print unless I have direct evidence to back things up. And, my own legal background shines a bright light on the prudence of such insistence.

On the other hand, I’ve done scientific investigative research for decades, the legal stuff since 2003. I not only know how to find the evidence; I’ll use it, including names, places, and dates. The fun of it all lies in making morons look like morons in such a way that everyone but the morons can see it.

Joe Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. You may comment on his column by clicking here.

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